Bullying Follow-Up

I rewrote her story.  Will copy and paste it below:


((This story was inspired by one of my students. She wanted to share what bullying can lead to and the thoughts that a bullied person has.))

You Hate me, I Hate you.

Walking down the hall, she felt so miserable. Today was just like any other day, but it wasn't a good day. Just like everyday. It was a complete mystery to her why no one liked her. Looking out the window but not seeing the soccer field below, Elrain was lost in her thoughts. She didn't annoy anyone nor seek ways to anger others. In fact she did just the opposite. Elrain was always trying to be considerate. Countless times she went out of her way to not embarrass or hurt those around her. If only she wasn't so shy.

Hearing laughter below, her eyes adjusted. There was a group of friends outside playing around. She wished she could make friends. If only she spoke better, then maybe she could be more liked by others. Sighing, she turned away from the window and kept walking. Speaking well wasn't her only problem. Those in her class were competitive and all strove for As. She had a B, and it wasn't good enough. Just another aspect about her to pick on. Add that to the list of things she didn't do well: art, music, sports.

Truly she was a normal student. It just seemed like if there was something to pick on, others found it. That was the final question of life. Why did others hate her so much. Rounding the final corner, she headed down the long hall towards her homeroom. It was like the entire class was cheerleaders, urging her to mess up. She hated it. If only she knew she could talk to her teacher. Elrain had thought about that. Still, if she did, what would follow would be embarrassing trips to the principle's office. That would give them more ammo to tease her with. She couldn't do it.

As she walked, a "Hey!" interrupted her thoughts. Elrain started to turn around when a flying blur smashed into her. Falling, pain lanced through her knees. Laying in a crumbled heap on the ground, she looked at the boy who had bodyslammed her. Another classmate. Grimacing, she tried to get up and saw her stockings. They were torn and her knees were bleeding. Tears welled up but she bit them back. The boy turned to her and accused, "You purposely got in my way. Apologize to me for that." Elrain bowed her head to hide the inner pain his words caused, "Sorry." The whisper wasn't much, but it was all she could manage.

The group that had been outside came around the corner. They were still laughing. He got up and dusted himself off. As he joined them, the girls skittered away laughing about poor person germs. Another boy pointed out, "You touched her. Now you are contagious with a bad disease." The boy laughed with them and turned back to Elrain. Shoving her back down from her half risen position, he left with them. She sighed. The penalty for falling in the first place.

*****

Elrain slowly walked into her house. There was stew cooking in the kitchen, it's delicious smell filling the whole house. Her mother called out to her, "Welcome home Elrain." She didn't respond. Her mother poked her head out of the kitchen and saw Elrain's ruined stockings. Frowning, she asked worriedly, "What happened to you?" She looked at her mother, a moment of wavering. Then she realized how worried her mother would always be for her. She couldn't tell her. "I fell down," she said simply. Better that than the truth. "Oh, well try to be more careful," responded her mother as she went back to work in the kitchen.

Heading into the bathroom, Elrain pulled off her ruined stockings and threw them away. Then she got down the first aid kit and cleaned up her knees as best as she could. It wasn't a great job but they would scab over and heal. Turning, she went to her room. Her bedroom had always been a place of peace for her. She could hide here from the rest of the world. As she was growing up, she didn't go to the library to study or the mall for pleasure. Instead she always came here knowing that those kids at school could not reach her here.

Her cell beeped. Crushing stress filled her at the sound. They couldn't physically still come, but someone had gotten and shared her phone number. Pulling out her cellphone, she looked down and saw she had a message. Just one message thankfully. It was still the same though. Like it always was. Opening it up, she clearly could read "You are so ugly. Why a stupid person like you exists, I'll never understand. Why don't you die already?" She snapped it shut, the tears still held back with a fierce stubborn determination.

*****

Walking into homeroom, Elrain looked down at her desk. There were fresh scribbles there. She knew they were fresh because she always erased them. These ones were no different from the old ones. The same thing that she was texted. Bad words and phrases like "You are the most stupid girl in the school" and "you have to die." Groaning mentally, she pulled out her eraser to erase them yet again. She didn't want to look at them any more than she could help. Yet even after they were erased, the words burned red in her memory.

*****

Heading to lunch, the boy who had pushed her the day before her yells at her, "Hey!" Elrain turned towards him hesitantly. He accused, "Don't look at me. You will get me dirty with your gaze." She tried to be brave while she said, "Please don't tease me." He shot back arrogantly, "Why not?" Gulping, she struggled to say more but it was beyond her. No one would listen to her.

*****

It was after lunch when Elrain discovered her wallet was missing. Standing before her homeroom teacher, she had explained to him it had disappeared. His worry was evident and he responded, "I'll find it for you Elrain. Don't worry, it has to be around here somewhere." She nodded and turned to leave. It wasn't that she doubted his sincerity. It was that she knew it had been in her bag. It wasn't misplaced, but stolen.

Needing a break from everyone, she went to the only place she could hide. The bathroom stall. Slipping in and closing her eyes, she took deep breathes. Her peace was shattered by the sound of laughing girls. Several came into the bathroom talking loudly. One she recognized gloated, "I have her wallet. He stole it and gave it to me." Another responded, "Wow, but what if someone finds out? Won't you be the one in a lot of trouble?" The first threatened, " No, not as long as none of you say anything. If you do, you will be an outsider just like her!" They quickly promised their silence and left.

She waited until they were gone before slipping out. She could say something. However it would only cause a lot of problems and most likely would lead to more teasing. She didn't want to make them upset any more than she could help it. Also, it seemed like too much trouble. Besides, there was only some money, a membership card to a food place, and coupons in the wallet. Nothing truly important. She could lie, again, and tell her mother she simply lost it. Everything would be okay.

*****

Finally school was over. Elrain walked outside. She wasn't heading home. Not today. This time she was on the roof of the school. It was four floors high, and the view was a little dizzying to her. "See that!" One of her classmates was below and pointing at her. Another pulled out her phone. Elrain wondered briefly if she was calling the police or getting more friends to come watch. It didn't matter. They would be happy she was going to do this. How many times had they said they wanted her to die. So there was no reason for them to worry or be surprised. Why would they? They most likely were telling people she was outside about to commit suicide, to come and watch.

A teacher rushes outside and sees Elrain. Her eyes grow wide and she ushers the students back inside. Hearing running feet on the stairwell and the door opening to the roof, she glances back. Her homeroom teacher is there with concern on his face. Behind him are several girls, including the one who had her wallet. She felt breathless and uncertain before them. His concern she understood, but the girls had wanted this. They had tormented her. Why were they here? The girls began pleading with her. "What are you doing? Please come here!" "Please, don't. Stop." Words and more words. Elrain didn't understand. Just that they didn't want her to go near the railing.

One of the girls said, "Listen to our words. Come here." Listen to their words? Elrain felt disgust and anguish when she heard that. Why should she? They had never listened to her when she asked them to not tease her. They were the ones who had given her messages full of bad words. They were the ones who left horrible words and phrases on her desk. They were the ones who wrote abuse on the blackboard. They were the ones who put trash on her seat. They were the ones who laughed at her and teased her. They were the ones who pushed her around. They were the ones who stole her wallet. They were the ones who threw trash at her, laughed at her, made fun of her, shoved her around, and stole her wallet.

She always had to say she was sorry. She was always apologizing. Why should she when she never did anything wrong?

They kept saying, "Please! Don't do that!"

She just wanted them to be quiet. They were so noisy. But of course, they wouldn't hear her voice.

So it was her turn.

"I hate you." Elrain said the words clearly and strongly, then turned and grabbed the railing and slipped over it. Standing on the ledge, her voice and life were finally hers to control.

*****************************************************************

In regards to the story I had just written. The student who inspired it is safe and didn't try to kill herself. However, she is very serious when she says that bullying can kill. I agree with her. Humans kill humans. Words might not break bones like sticks and stones, but they can emotionally and mentally destroy a human life.