I'm reading a book I borrowed about how to tell if someone is lying to you. I am rather naive and gullible, so I felt it would be to my benefit to learn some of the signs of a liar. This book explains what to look for and why. It is pretty neat. There is a lot of detail. I thought it would be fun to put some of the summaries that are throughout the book here.
Summaries:
1. If you are being accused of something, check how much the accuser is attacking you. It is probably a projection of how they see themselves.
2. If a person is telling the truth, he will be more focused on if you understood him instead of how he appears to you.
3. Third party views are likely to be absent from a liar's point of view.
4. In relating a story, the liar will leave out the negative aspects unless that is the main point or explanation for something.
5. Liars answer your questions, but asks none of their own.
6. Watch out for reactions that are not in proportion with the question.
7. Statements will sound similar to how a question would sound.
8. He will repeat your words back to you to make his point.
9. If you ask him something, he answers, but you don't give a verbal understanding, then he will keep going and going until you do.
10. He will depersonalize his answer when he gives his belief or opinion on something instead of giving a direct answer.
11. Implies an answer but never states it.
12. Moves away from his accuser, usually towards an exit.
13. Shift head or body away.
14. Place objects between himself and the person accusing him.
15. Timing off between gestures.
16. Timing and duration of emotional gestures will seem off.
This isn't even a third of the what the book has to offer. It is indepth and amazing. Hopefully the knowledge will help me be a better person. Why place it here? Because I want to share it!
I would like to say that some of those pointers are "potential" signs of lying. If you do not know some particular circumstances of the other person, you might end up assuming they are lying. Whereas,
ReplyDeletethey might actually be doing one or more of those things for other reasons.
It is a good list, but not the total way of every situation. It probably takes a very intuitive person to know the difference.
Some of these would be true if the person were very self-conscience (#2, 5, 7, 9{also called rambling}, 10, 12, and 13). This list is good at spotting an amateur lier, not one who knows what he/she is doing... Then there might be more subtle hints that he/she is lying. Usually, the only ones who can spot true liers are liers.
ReplyDeleteThe book is a lot more extensive than this and goes into incredibly more detail on all of this. The questions you raised are addressed there. This is ONLY a summary of what was discussed.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the name of the book? I would like to give it a look!
ReplyDeleteNever Be Lied to Again by Lieberman, David J.
ReplyDelete